June 2023

First, let’s look at the revealed truth: God created man to be the family leader, breadwinner, and protector. This is what is said throughout the Holy Scripture. Moreover, the father of the family is an icon of God himself for his family, especially for children. A telling example: one of the authorities of psychology writes in a report: “When I ask my patient – what is your relationship to God, very often I hear that God is with other people, but not with me. When I ask again – how close your father was to you as a child, almost every time the answer is the same – my Father was never close to me!” The same is the truth of scientific research and observation. One of the experts in this matter writes that we should not delude ourselves. No measure of a father’s professional success can compensate for his failure at home. And he advises fathers, “Priorize your lives based on who’s really going to cry at your funeral.” The physical presence of the father at home is absolutely necessary for the proper development of children. Research shows that a father’s influence on children helps them build positive self-esteem, avoid premature sex, alcohol, drugs, and cope better with stress at school. How many stones, enormous in their eyes, often beyond their fragile strength, do your wives and children have! So many worries, frustrations, stresses, fears. They need a father who will help them to remove them, who will put faith in their hearts that they can also gradually remove them by themselves! The authority that a father has in the eyes of his children, and especially in the eyes of his daughters, is unique, and that kind of authority a mother doesn’t have. Many fathers make a cardinal mistake here. They feel that they must try to earn the title of hero in the eyes of their children. Nothing more wrong. The father, by virtue of being a father, is automatically a hero in the eyes of his children, especially girls, and will always remain so, as long as he is faithful to their mother and to them, lives in truth and does nothing to lose this status in the eyes and hearts of his family.

A father has a very important role to play with his sons. By his own example, he teaches them how to (or not) treat a woman when they are adults. The way a father respects and loves his wife will fundamentally influence on how his sons view women in their personal lives, how they deal wisely with their sexuality, how they speak respectfully with women, and how they treat them appropriately.

Especially in the eyes of his daughter. If the father humiliates the mother in front of her, then his daughter will begin to regret that she was born a girl and will begin to hate her femininity, which will be negatively reflected when she is a teenager and a woman. A father who abuses his mother verbally or physically will make his daughter believe that as a woman she is a plaything in the hands of a man and that she deserves to be beaten and molested. Fathers need to understand that their daughters need daddy to cuddle them, carry them in his arms, tell them how much he loves them and how proud he is of them, talk to them, listen to them, even if it tires him, because you know how much girls need to talk and how much they need, especially the father, and not just the mother, to have time for them and listen to them carefully. Just like that girl whose daddy was the boss of a big company. Daddy told little girl to write St. Nicholas a list of gifts she wants for Christmas. What was his surprise when the girl wrote one sentence in a letter to Santa – “I am asking you, Saint Nicholas, for my Dad to have at least 15 minutes for me every day. I want nothing more!” The role of a father is to be there for his children, to encourage them, to defend them against depression, to help them overcome stress, to help build a positive self-esteem. Be a father – always and in every situation!

Many parents, especially fathers, fall to the trap set by a market-oriented society. Good parents always want their children to be happy. They are bombarded from everywhere with information that true happiness is to have. So they give to their children and they give endlessly. And with giving, children’s psychological problems grow. Scientists are sounding the alarm, saying that never before has the level of frustration, nervous breakdowns, aggression and depression among children been as high as it is today. Fathers, you must awaken from this poisoned mental lethargy. Children will be truly happy only when they look beyond themselves, when they understand that they have a purpose in life and a mission to fulfill by doing good for others. There is more happiness in giving than in receiving! In a politically correct world, it is inconvenient to talk about the critical role of the father in forming his children in the Faith. Scientific research conducted independently by various centers, the results of which are not spoken about because they are inconvenient and destroy the basis of anti-father and anti-family propaganda, prove conclusively that the father has a fundamental influence on the development or killing of faith in his children.

In families where the mother attended church regularly on Sundays, children’s attendance depended on the father’s participation. When the father attended church regularly, the children attended regularly in 33% of the families. When the father did not attend at all, only 2% of families attended church regularly with their mother. And in 60% of the families they did not go to church at all. The children identified with their father’s religious indifference more than with their mother’s piety.

Fathers, take this well to your heart. Only you can remove the stone of your children’s religious indifference by the example of your personal religiosity. Nobody can replace you in this. No priest, no catechist, not even your wives. The religiosity of your children depends to a large extent on your living faith, practiced every day. So it is you who are to lead common prayers at home, read the Holy Bible with children, explain the catechism, liturgy, go to church with children, sit in a pew together with children, show them by your example what it means to pray devoutly, to be generous for the Lord God, to confess, to receive the Holy Communion in front of their eyes. If you don’t do it, the children will be convinced that all this religiousness is not an important thing, it’s a thing for children, because it’s not important for our Dad. And you will roll a stone over the grave of their religiosity, which will be difficult for them to roll back later, and may not succeed at all. Dear Fathers, sursum corda! Don’t desert! Christ is truly risen! Follow His example and your families will follow you.